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I just completed my first weekend for the second level of Polarity Therapy training. Six years ago I finished my first level. How much I have changed since then! Ellen Kruger, my teacher at the Soma-Psyche Institute, spoke of the life processes of involution and evolution. As I understand it, it’s the idea that we can become very fixed in identity, relationships and behaviors (involution), but through self-awareness and discovery we can emerge with a different understanding and way of being with ourselves and the world (evolution).

Four and a half years ago, I had a series of crap-hits-the-fan-of-life events. At the time, I had been on a steadily evolving path of self-discovery and change, yet much of my self-identity and many of my relationships were habitual and crystallized in nature–and they weren’t serving me terribly well.  Then I had a bodily breakdown that literally stopped me in my tracks: both my legs went into deep spasms so painful that I hardly walked for several months. Arrested in my forward drive, I began a life review. It has been a long process of recovery and a lot of it was not fun. I had many days of feeling hopeless and frustrated. Yet I kept plugging away day by day, surviving and trying to figure out how to heal myself and finding those who could help me.

Now I can say with relief and joy that I am definitely on the upward swing. In multiple ways I am much stronger than when I was pulled down into the depths of involution. I am more centered in myself while I expand into new territories. Reconfigured and new relationships are healthier than before. This process has neither been easy nor altogether enjoyable, but I am very grateful for what I have learned. I am looking forward to the next two years of Polarity training with a richer and healthier self–and to having more fun!